Friday, August 14, 2015

Saying goodbye to kitty hurt my heart #petloss #MFRWorg #cats #animalfriends

A few weeks ago, I had to say goodbye to my old (er than dirt) kitty, Scooter. She reached age 22 on July 4. For many years, I knew she had suffered from kidney failure. The veterinarian had added thyroid and heart to the mix as well.

Scoo was a good kitty. Shy. Soft. Had a good fussy face. Knew what an alarm clock was and helped wake us up. Screamed at me when I'd returned from my travels. She nodded off by my monitor while I worked.
Handsome and I went on a big trip this summer. Before I left, I rubbed her forehead with my nose and said, "You be here when I return." She was.

Then I went to RWA and again, I asked her to be home when I returned. She was.

But not for long.

Her hips were going wonky. She fell a lot. We'd pick her up and set her straight. She didn't eat much. She didn't drink much. We cradled her skinny body to our chests. One morning, I could tell she was in horrible shape and I made the decision to call the vet. But by the afternoon, she was nearly gone.

Someone asked me how I felt. I said, "Like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, stomped on a couple of times, and thrust back inside of me."

Yeah, that sad.

Recently, my sister had to say bye to her spaniel/terrier mix, Oreo. He lived to be 14 and everyone always commented, "He was a good dog."

Some of my writer friends on Facebook lost their furry friends.

I still have the silly malti-poos, Champ and Jones. But they aren't my Scoo.

25 comments:

Angela Adams said...

I'm so sorry, Vicki...our pets are beloved members of our family, and it hurts when they have to leave us.

Cathy McElhaney said...

Oh Vicki, I am so sorry! Back in April, our 4 year old Cocker Spaniel, Steeler, got very sick and we almost lost him, but he pulled through. Then, just a few days later, I saw my 16 year old cat, Smokey, in the kitchen when I woke up...What? Smokey hadn't left my bedroom for YEARS! I knew she wasn't in the best of health and when she went outside on the back patio, I knew she was not going to be around much longer. She died the next day in a little cat bed in my kitchen. My heart broke. A month later, I had my heart attack. Right now, I am typing 1 handed because the other is holding a tint kitten that needed a home. She has been with us since she was 2 weeks old and had been abandoned. Heartluck Gracie, as my grand daughter named her, has brought back some joy, but she needs to get over this 4 AM bitefest she has been going through! This morning it was my FACE she decided to chew on! LOL!
Grief is the price we pay for loving these fur babies!

Eve Mardis said...

So very sorry. They take a piece of us with them when they pass, but they leave a piece of themselves in our hearts as well. Whenever I hear someone say "It's just a cat/dog" I want to tell them how sorry I am that they'll never experience what we do, the love and acceptance of our furbabies. We mourn them just as much as any human loss. Many hugs Vicki.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Angela! Leaving us does hurt. Two weeks ago today. Still expect her to peek around the next corner. Thank you.

Hi, Cathy! I had a cat named Smokey. Lovely big gray guy and he just up and disappeared one day. I think Grace is very lucky to have you for a mommy. Hugs.

Hi, Eve! They do take a piece and leave a piece. When our family adopted her and sister Romper, we'd just lost Snuffer, another big gray guy. Then, I didn't know if I could take on another pet, much less two. But I know my life is better for having done so. Hugs back at ya.

Marsha said...

I"m so dreadfully sorry for your loss, Vicki. Good description of the pain. 22 years old! My, that kitty had more than 9 lives. But by the same token, she was a part of a huge chunk of your life and leaves as giant hole!
I cried (sobbed) every day & every night for 6 months after we lost our two pups, 13 and 14 years old. Lost Simon the week before my first book was was released. Scout went the week after. I don't think I'll ever forget the avalanche of emotions. So elated about the book's release and crushed flat from the loss.
I put pics of the pups everywhere and found them very comforting. I still have two pics of them above my keyboard. I know you'll find some peace, Vicki. Just give it time and cry as much as you need for as long as you need. Someone told me my tears were in direct correlation to how much I loved them. Blessings.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Oh Marsha! I can't imagine so much at once. Yet, I can. Handsome took me on a wonderful birthday trip. Upon returning home, my dad passed, then my nephew. I went to RWA the day after my nephew's funeral, wondering why am I here??? but pulled through with the help of good friends. Then kitty. I felt overloaded that weekend and just let go.

I know time will heal my loss. And the puppies are around who are too much fun.

Hugs to you, Marsha.

Melissa Keir said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Loss is no less because it's a pet as opposed to a family member. In some cases, it's more of a loss. Pets love us unconditionally and even when they aren't in your arms, it hurts. I hope that time will heal your hurt and someday, when you are ready... another furry friend will come into your life. Because you have so much love to give and that furry friend would be lucky to have it!

Cathy McElhaney said...

Wow Vicki...that's a lot of losses so close together! {{{{HUGS}}}} and a prayer for healing!

D'Ann said...

I am so very sorry. {{{hugs}}} It hurts like hell and no words really help. She is well now and running and playing.

Liese said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Vicki. May you find peace in the memories you have.

Liese

stanalei said...

22 years is a long time. I'm sure it's hard, but you'll have all those great memories.

Michelle Miles said...

I'm sorry about your kitty, Vicki. I hate having to say goodbye to a pet. When Sampson died, it was July 4 weekend a couple of years ago. It devastated the kiddo. Putting him down was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. HUGS

Teresa Reasor said...

I'm so sorry. I've been through this too many times to count. We have taken in more rescues than you can possibly imagine. Our street is named vagabond lane because we always end up with someone dumping animals on our road and they undoubtedly end up at my house.

My heart goes out to you. It is like losing a child. They give you such companionship and comfort and then when their gone it just breaks your heart. You are in my thoughts.
Teresa R.

Anonymous said...

There are no words to say for sharing your pain and agony. Our pets are our four legged furry children. Our hearts break when they have to go. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Kat said...

Oh Vicki, I feel your pain, having been there myself. Twenty-two years is a long time to share, and I swear we send a piece of our heart off with them when they go.

I lost Wolfe in January, so my pain's still fresh enough that I know what you're going through. Although thankfully I didn't have all the other accumulated loss you're dealing with. I ended up making a collage of photos so I could always look at him, and not fear that I would someday not remember all the good times we had together.
I hope the weight of your loss lifts soon and the good memories begin to heal that spot where a tiny piece of your heart was torn away to send off with your friend.

Karilyn Bentley said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Vicki. She was such a sweet kitty. I lost Hell Hound on the same day and it's hard. Furbabies become such a part of our lives, a child of a different species. I like to believe that one day we'll see all our furbabies again, waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge when we cross over.

HUGS!!!

Unknown said...

Oh, Vicki! Hugs! And how I wish you could feel my virtual hug!
I love my sweet ol' girl Phoebe just a few months ago. It's so hard, isn't it? I don't have any words to comfort you, I'm sorry to say. But my thoughts and prayers are with you during this tough time. And if you ever are in need of a hug or just to vent, I'm here. I'm here!
Huge, huge hugs!

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Melissa! Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words. Right now, we have the poos and they are plenty. With all the traveling, probably for the best not to have a kitty of my own. I can go pester my son's. LOL

Hi, Cathy! It was a very emotional month. I was spent. Literally. Much better now. Thank you.

Hi, Liese! and thank you for holding my hand during RWA. Hugs!

Hi, Stanalei! When #2son and I chat about her, we think of so many different things from little, middle aged, and older. Not long ago, she stood next to my monitor and slept upright with forehead pressed to the side of the monitor. Very funny.

Hi, Michelle! I remember when you had to let go and now you have funny Dexter. Having pets teaches our kids so many things about life.

Hi, Teresa! Vagabond lane perfectly describes the scenario my mom had when growing up. They lived on a farm and people dumped animals all the time. She said seeing them hit by cars made her not want anything to love because they'd grown attached to the animal. She gave in when I was six. LOL

Hi, CK! When Romper passed, I thought Scoo was right behind her. She proved me wrong and gave me five more sweet years. Thank you for visiting with me.

Hi, Kathryn! Doesn't part of you feel like you will forget your baby? I don't want to lose her, but time will do it's part and take over. I'm so sorry about Wolfe. What a wonderful name. I'm sure was a magnificent pet, too.

Hi, Karilyn! I know you are sad too. I grew to know more about Hell Hound on your blog posts, Tales from the Crate. I hope you will continue to share your stories. Hugs, my friend.

Hi, Red! I'm so sorry about Phoebe. I like her name too! I love hugs! And one day, we shall share one in person. And I can't wait. ox

Sydell Voeller said...

Vicky, three years ago I lost my beloved 18 yo kitty, Baby, to renal disease. We'd even given her daily infusions to make better her quality of life and hopefully ensure less pain in her remaining days. It was a gut wrenching experience. Even though we now have two rescue kitties that we love too, we still miss Baby. My heart goes out to you.

Anonymous said...

So very sorry for your loss Vicki, our pets are part of our family too and it hurts to say goodbye. I console myself with thinking about the beautiful green meadows they've gone to where they can chase butterflies to their hearts content. ((hugs))
Jacquie Biggar

Aidee Ladnier said...

So sorry, Vicki. :(

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Sydell! And my heart to you. Eighteen years is a long time too. I didn't do anything special because I didn't think she would last this long. I'd love to see your rescue babies. Hugs.

Hi, Jacquie! They are part of your family up there with kiddoes. Yes, a beautiful place with no pain, only joy and love.

Hi, Aidee! Thank you, hon.

pastprimetravelers said...

Vicky, shared grief does soften the loss a bit. Somehow it's comforting to know that others have felt, and will again, feel the same way at the loss of a pet. I feel sorry for those that have never opened their heart to an animal and made it their pet. In time, you too will have another that you love as much.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Pastprimetravelers! My #2 son and I cared for her primarily and we chat about her often, look at pix, etc. Like I said, the malti-poos have helped. They are the perpetual puppies (age 5 now). There's run-run-run, throw squeaky, ride in the car with mom, and long walks.

We've had fish, a lizard, cats and dogs. Babysat a rat. lol Thank you for sharing with me.

Tambra said...

Hugs and prayers of comfort and peace to you and your family. The pain is deep but the love our furbabies give us is so pure. I know they are only with us for a short time, but I know my life would be so much less for not having a fuzzy kid.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty, but happy at the love given and shared.

My baby, Sparky Lionel Urban (a Cairn terrier) is 7 years old. He's my heart. We've been through a lot together already and are extremely close. I know I will be devastated whenever it's his time to pass over the Rainbow Bridge.

May your pain fade and be replaced with memories of good times and special moments.

They are angels in fur coats.

Hugs,
Tambra