Handbags, Books...Whatever

Handbags, Books...Whatever is the website of Vicki Batman, sassy writer of sexy and funny fiction. Handbag lover. Avid Jazzerciser. Mah jong player. Yoga practioner. Movie fan. Book devourer.Choc-aholic. Best Mom ever. And adores Handsome.


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  • 05/29 - Just You and Me release day!
  • 05/25 - Vicki-Quilted with Love
  • 05/18 - Vicki-Cake fail
  • 05/15 - Handbag & Book, Candi Fox
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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Failed Beauty Contestant #tiara #romanticcomedy #shortstory

I can hear you laughing way over here. Yes, I’ve been a failed beauty contestant, not once, but twice.
 
The first time was in high school in a program hosted by my hometown’s fire department. The real reason I entered was the $500 scholarship. I wanted to go to college and $500 would pay for a few semesters of community college. So I entered, wrote the essay, borrowed a black swimsuit, wore a sweet long dress of eyelet.

And didn’t win. In all fairness, I was selected from the 24 original entrants to be in the final top twelve. That part was cool. Picture in the paper! The girl who did get the tiara looked 24 not 17 or 18. She really looked like a beauty contestant.

Sigh.
The second time I was persuaded after a few margaritas to represent a friend’s moped shop in a contest hosted by a recreational vehicle show. I said no a few times. My friends worked on me and I said yes. This was six years after the first one. All I had to do was walk around in a swimsuit and heels which I did. One of the judges was a former NFL quarterback. Pretty embarrassing. The blonde with the cornrows won. She was younger too.
All I’m saying here is sometimes, there’s funny stuff in our lives and it makes a great story.

Here’s a teaser from “Raving Beauty,” a romantic comedy short story in the Just You and Me boxed set:

 "I can't believe I let your loony brother, who's tormented me all my life, talk me into this." With my eye on the teenage competition, I tugged the leg opening of my swimsuit into place to better cover my hip. "Just because I did some modeling in college doesn't make me a pageant diva. Back then, I was incredibly skinny, and clothes fit easily."
         "Daniel's a rat. He took advantage of your third or was it your fourth margarita, Kelly?" Maggie Ackerman, my best friend and roommate, adjusted the scarlet satin sash draped across my body. Glittery stick-on letters spelled out Miss Yahoo! Ranch Steakhouse. "Hold still."
         With an old-fashioned teasing comb, she picked my brown hair into place at the crown of my head. The eerie suspicion I resembled a scary dame with Big Texas hair from the television show, Dallas, caused me to avoid looking in the mirror.
         "Close your eyes." She hit me with super freeze-it hairspray. "Now, that ain't goin' nowhere."
         My personal stylist needed to work on her aim, preferably with both of her eyes open. I spit-wiped the sticky spot on my right cheek. I hope nobody I know sees me like this. 
         "There." The scrunch of her nose reflected how pleased she was with herself. "Feeling better?"
         Like a slab of beef.
Preorder Just You and Me at:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XCZWL6N
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/just-you-and-me…/1125868014
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-you-and-me
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1210908031


Confession time! Who had beauty contestant aspirations?

2 comments:

Angela Adams said...

Never had a desire to be in a beauty contest. BUT, I do see you getting inspiration for a novel from this post (smile!).

Vicki Batman, sassy writer of sexy and funny fiction, blogger at Handbags, Books...Whatever said...

Hi, Angela! The first one was for the dollars and the second was for a friend. Otherwise, I'd have passed too. From all we read about nowadays, the competition is fierce. Hugs!

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