Handbags, Books...Whatever

Handbags, Books...Whatever (http://www.vickibatman.blogspot.com) is the website of Vicki Batman, sassy writer of sexy and funny fiction. Handbag lover. Avid Jazzerciser. Mah jong player. Yoga practioner. Movie fan. Book devourer. Choc-aholic. Best Mom ever. And adores Handsome.

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Wednesday, June 04, 2014

.@VickiBatman - Skeleton in my closet #funny #MFRWorg #RLFblog

Now That's Funny



Last fall, I did an interview and told three things no one else really knew about me:


A.     I'm in a music video.

B.     I asked seven guys to a dance and turned down seven times.

C.     I was Miss Oak Lawn Moped.


Guess which one solicited the most comments? C.


What's so funny about that? Aside from squishing into a swimsuit at age twenty-four and standing alongside a bunch of eighteen year-olds? 


Okay, it is funny. And for those who posted on the original interview and demanded to know that story--sigh--here it is:


Once Upon A Time, I had a college friend who owned a moped store. At a party, he asked me to do a favor and be his entry for a pageant. I did say no, but my love-rly roommate and his friend joined in and said, "Yeah, you should do this." A couple of margaritas later, I was persuaded.


I'd modeled in college. I could do the walk and wore a suit well. It's just…geez. Embarrassed doesn't even come close to how I felt.


Until age sixteen, I wore cat-eye glasses and had a terribly skinny body. I never thought I was pretty. Imagine me at age seventeen when I actually entered the Miss Flame scholarship contest. I wrote an essay, paraded in a swimsuit and long dress. I made it through to the finals. And the judges picked the girl who looked twenty-something. Hurrah!


So, fast forward to Ms. OLM. I managed a passable job, and not surprisingly, the blonde with the corn-row hairstyle won. Finito. Pageant days are over.


What's really funny? This incident provided fodder for a fun, unpubbed story. And I threw in the part about asking seven guys to a dance, too.



So am I brave or what? Come on, share something no one else really knows.



Vicki Batman is kicking back with her diet Coke and wrapping up "Raving Beauty." Catch her at: http://plottingprincesses.blogspot.com OR at: http://vickibatman.blogspot.com  Coming soon is her romantic comedy mystery, Temporarily Employed.


Devika Fernando said...

That was awesome to read. I'm still chuckling, though I also feel mortified on your behalf. ;-)

I don't know how to ride a bicycle - hardly anybody out of Sri Lanka knows that because I'm so embarrassed about it and should know it as a 'proper' German.

vicki batman said...

Hi, Devika: I wasn't mortified until I stood on the stage with the 17-19 year olds. I was barely older. Geez. Still time to learn how to ride a bike??? I know the key is balance. My boys had a bike that was small and their feet touched the ground, not training wheels. That made it worse. Using their bodies, they got the hang of it. I'll send vibes your way.

Liz Lipperman said...

Loved this story. I got suspended from high school for three days for smoking in the locker room. Long story-Catholic HS, boy's locker room, me and my best friend, and a nosy nun!!!!! Had to clean the school toilets every Saturday until we graduated (3 months!!)

I am happy to report I gave up smoking 40 years ago!!!

vicki batman said...

Ms. Lipperman: that is a funny story and a very just punishment. Boy's lockerroom??? Just what else went on in there?

Rose Gorham said...

Loved your story Vicki and yours ladies. They gave my morning a much needed boost. Thanks for sharing!

Rose Gorham said...

836326 206Loved your story Vicki and yours ladies. They gave my morning a much needed boost. Thanks for sharing!

Rose Gorham said...

Sorry for the double entry embarrassing!!!

vicki batman said...

Lol, Rose! That happens and makes me feel like I've had tons of visitors. Thank you for stopping by.

Sylvia said...

Love this story Vicki! It's one of my favorites of yours. What did I do that no one knows about? Let's see we toilet papered our three favorite guys in HS. But the most fun was gathering at Irving Mall to watch the naked Easter Bunny roller skate thru the mall. Yep, I know silly kids that we were. And no, I wasn't the Easter Bunny...some guy in my class that I can't even remember his name. I guess he didn't make much of an impression on me.

vicki batman said...

Hi, Sylvia! A naked Easter Bunny is almost like the naked cowboy singer in Times Square. LOLOL

Melissa Keir said...

What a fun post! I love taking the tidbits from real life events and weaving them into a story. I was the reason that third party phone calls now need to have someone at home to verify that you will accept the charge. :) Yep... such a naughty girl!

vicki batman said...

Hi, Melissa! Sometimes, life if better than fiction. And things people say and do are fair game--as long as I use them fairly and don't reveal who did or said what. lol You were a very naughtly girl. LOL

Louise Lyndon said...

You're a braver woman than me!

I guess one embarrassing thing I've done that I pray all evidence of the event has been destroyed is... I must have been about 15 and mum had just bought a video camera. Me, my sisters and cousins made a short film called attack of the killer cucumber! We had the shower scene from Pyscho and everything! We hooked the cucumber up to a bit of string so it looked as if it was moving on its own. We even composed incidental music. The cucumber met an untimely death at the end by getting hacked to death. Lol

To this day I have no idea where that tape is.

My mother was not pleased as she had wanted to use the cucumber for a salad.

vicki batman said...

I am rolling on the floor, Louise. I'd love to see the video. My sons made movies in high school and I loved it. It's letting creativity fly! So I hope it shows one day and you can share. Thanks for posting!

florence cronin said...

From grade school until HS either my older brother or myself entered me in a host of contest. Art, music and comedy. I won the last :) Yeah, I was a riot in HS, but got stage shy at my song contest, and never made it to honorable mention at the art thing. What hurt the most is when I auditioned for the prestigious All City Chorus at Carnegie Hall and didn't make the cut.

Guess I'm still at it. Only now I enter from behind the computer :)

Fun post, Vicki and a fun thing to know about the hand-bad, funny writer. Thanks :)

vicki batman said...

Hi, Florence, and thank you for posting with me today. I'm sorry you didn't make the cut, but stick with it. Perseverance can win for you. Come see me again soon.

Angela Adams said...

great post!

vicki batman said...

Thanks, Angela. I like a good laugh and can laugh about it now.

Larkin said...

Fun story, Vicki--I hope your friend appreciated what you did for him. Did he at least pay for the margaritas? In truth, I'll bet you looked great. Twenty-four isn't exactly retirement age, you know. :)

Marianne Stephens said...

Funny story...nice of you to agree to enter! You certainly can get great mileage in a story using your experience, even if you didn't win!

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